Torn Canvas

Lucia tried to be accomodating to Eros as she told him what he needed to hear as far as telling Sani that he'd cheated on him with Lucia, and the woman's plan was to just take it all in as it came at her, she was very proud of herself the way she handled it and figured it was only a matter of time before Sani would leave and hope Eros would take her as his bride,..just as it had been intended the day she arrived. She watched as Eros got up,..mentioning to himself that he needed to tell Sani the truth. 'Good Luck.' she said in a quiet tone to the man as he left to go into the house. oh Lucia..is there anything you can't do? the woman smiled to herself as she couldn't wait to see how Sani would react to the news.

Inside the house, Sani was preparing dinner, an easy meal of cheesy potato cassarole with his own spin on it. the boy's hair was up in a messy ponytail, loose strands all over the place, an apon over his clothes as he began to clean up the kitchen as he cooked,. just then Eros appeared, Sani saw him and smiled at him happily with bright eyes and smear of chees sauce on his cheek. 'You just can't wait to see what's for dinner can you?' he smiled as this was the custom of Eros poking his head in to get a heads up of what was for dinner before they actually ate.

Eros wanted to reply like he usually did, though didn't feel he had the right to. Instead, he tensed further as Sani seemed to be so happy at that moment. If I don't tell him, then what? What will he do once he finds out? I did not think about it until Lucia said something, but she's right...All it's going to do is eat up within the back of my mind if we are together... "Sani...I have to tell you something." Eros breathed out, his gaze shifting away, this having to show Sani that something was indeed up.

Eros motioned for Sani to take a seat, waiting to ensure that Sani was not just leaving the dinner to burn. So he waited till she was ready. Once she sat down, his expression grew a lot more distant. This was hard, if not harder than when he revealed his past. "I....I'm....a hypocrit...I did not realize it until just awhile ago. Sani...you....don't deserve a person like me at all...What I'm going to tell you...I know it's just going to make you hate me..." Eros trembled at this. "But I have to tell you...Because I can't...I can't just...be with you and not tell you such a thing. I can't do it...it's not fair to you at all. Sani.....I...."

Eros forced himself to look into Sani's eyes. "When we were at the beach...and Lucia dragged me out to play...We....went off to that little island...and we...We made love." Eros finally got it out. "I didn't think much of it at the time....as well...I...I've never been in a relationship since an entire year. Though when I was speaking to Lucia...I've come to realize...I've...cheated on you."

Sani was happy, mainly because of the conversation they had had in the car and Eros now knew how he felt about him, and the boy was more excited at the fact that Eros had mentioned that he flet the same way. so why not have on a grin that went form ear to ear? Though it faded as Eros didn't seem as excited,..and the fact that Eros didn't reply like usual to his tease about him coming in to see what was cooking,..something seemed off as well. 'Eros?' Sani wondered what it was that seemed to bother the other so much.

He was then asked to have a seat so he set everything at the right temperature and took a seat. he was more concerned about Eros though, he seemed...nearly distraught. 'is everything okay?' Sani's face gained a concerned pout as he wasn't sure what it was that the other wanted to speak with him about.

He sat and listened as he kinda bat around the bush just to finally deliever the blow that he had cheated on Sani with Lucia. Sani nodded 'I know.' he said as he blinked. 'Last night,..I smelt her all over you, I figured you were going to start sleeping with her sooner or later. I'm no dummy, I couldn't decide when you had had the chance,..but I knew you had sex with her. and well I guess at that point I guess you had decided that we were no longer in a relationship since you were trying to decide between us who you wanted. but I think it would have been nice to know that we were no longer dating..you know?' Sani was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. 'Besides,.it's not really like I could be mad at you,..I told you to give her a chance..although that wasn't exactly what I meant by it....so...I guess consider youself in the clear.' Sani said trying to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal to him although he wanted to tear up right there..he knew Eros had slept with Lucia and he was even a little hurt by the fact but he wanted to be tougher than that.

'I figured since you're trying to figure out which of us you like best, I couldn't exactly be mad at you for it..it hurts,..I won't lie about that,..but,..I saw it comign a mile away..'

Eros was in shock at the response he got. Sani knew? Listening to the youth continue, Eros was still quite surprised, though his gaze was still a bit troubled. Sani sounded like it was no big deal...but something told him that this was still a deal in some ways to the other. "To be honest...I...didn't want to see us as no longer dating..." Eros admitted as he shifted his gaze away. He felt he should have no right to say that. "I...I don't really think I can consider myself in the clear. What I did was still...wrong..." Eros was confused at the other's reaction, though he was also a bit relieved...None the less, he still didn't like what he had done simply because he still saw them as dating despite trying out both girls basically.

As Sani stated it hurts, tha the wouldn't lie about that, Eros gently pushed out a hand and touched the other's cheek. The fact that it hurt him to know that he hurt Sani in some way...Eros was starting to see that he was falling for Sani more and more...and Lucia was losing. Her plan had backfired it would seem. "I don't deserve...you..." Eros whispered. "But...I'm so selfish...I want you even though you shouldn't be with me at all...You accept me, you forgive me...I'm so sorry for what I did Sani...I...I don't want to hurt you." Eros whispered as he trailed his fingers against Sani's cheek. He was learning more and more that he indeed was in love with Sani. The way such a thing had affected him, the way he had to tell Sani, the way he told Sani about his past...Eros was getting closer and closer to his decision.

Sani stared straight back at Eros, his lips trembling as he tried his hardest not to cry, he let in a shuddered breath, still attempting to control himself, but tears did fall as he blinked. The boy took hands to his face to wipe away the tears. 'Eros,..I odn't know what you want me to say...what's done is done. I'm happy that you decided to tell me,..I can forgive you for what happened,..but I don't know what you want me to say to make this right again.' the boy spoke, seemingly more and more bothered by the situation at hand. the youth was confused and so much had happened within that day, both boys finding out one anothers secrets, Sani's growing fear that Reece would find him somehow and continue to terrorize and do whatever he wanted to him. Sani felt there would be no way out for him if Reece found him now. but he knew he would come for him soon if Sandie said anything to the family of his whereabouts, then suddenly a changing of his last name, gender, and location weren't good enough anymore. So many things were going on at once and Sani wasn't too sure how to cope with them all. But he knew he would need to battle them and win. so...first thing was first..Eros.

'Eros,..what do you want to happen between us?' he said forcing himself to calm down and speak to the other once more.

Eros was silent as he heard the question, finding himself trembling a bit, his gaze shifting away at first, as if contemplating what he was going to say. "What...do I want to happen between us?" Eros repeated the question, his gaze slowly being forced back to stare upon Sani's own. He questioned himself over and over again and found himself losing to the fact that the two of them shouldn't be together. He didn't want to hurt Sani and he felt that he probably would at some point in their relationship...but he realized then, at that very moment...that he couldn't let Sani go. Lucia...at that moment....had lost the battle.

"I....want us to be together." Eros suddenly stated, wincing as he said his words. "It's selfish of me...I've done so much where I don't deserve happiness...Yet...I want you, and I don't want anyone else to have you. Not your brother....not anyone else...I want you to be mine...Sani....I love you." Eros got out, his expression turning from hesitant to serious as he stared deeply into Sani's eyes. It had happened...Sani had revealed who his heart was beating more for. Sani accepted him for what and who he was, and the more he spent time with Sani, the more he was realizing that Sani was the one.

Sani was relieved to hear that Eros wanted to still be with him, because Sani didn't want what they had shared with oneanother that day to have been a complete lose. He felt for the other. 'Don't say that,..of course you deserve happiness..everyone does,..' it was then the other had said that he loved Sani as well and a smile plastered itself on his face. it had been said,..and he loved how it made him feel. the boy got up from his chair the hug the man strongly, nuzzling his neck. 'I love you too.' he whispered.Yes,..Eros was definately the one for him and now that he realized how he felt about Sani and well,..Lucia was just going to have to accept that. Though Lucia had no idea what was happening in the kitchen,...she was still out in the patio day dreaming as she looked out towards the ocean, thinking of how all her troubles would soon be over. oh she couldn't wait to be able to tell her father the great news that they wouldn't have to file for bankruptcy and how she had single-handedly saved their fortune. Little did she know, she would be leaving soon, and not with a new husband.

As Sani stood up and took to giving him such a strong hug, Eros trembled and shifted his arms about the other, pulling the other as close as possible to him. Eros stood up as he took to holding the other, only to pull back a bit and touched the youth's cheek. A relieved smile took him before he took to claiming Sani by the lips. The kiss was passionate, strong....long. After a good few minutes, Eros pulled back and studied the other, blushing as he realized that was an even better kiss than their past ones. Was it because now the two understood eachother's feelings. Cheeks burned at this and Eros found himself clearing his throat. "Hmhm...wow." Eros teased, only to sigh and become worried. "We're...going to have to let Lucia know...But...she didn't know her feelings for me yet completely either...So I want to do that as soon as possible...Or the pain she'll have will be much worse.

Sani enjoyed the hug the two had shared and a blush appeared within the boy's cheeks as the other kissed him. It must have been the most passionate kiss they'd ever shared, it was long, breath-taking and possibly the best kiss Sani had ever experienced,..not with Eros but anyone for that matter. the youth couldn't help but purr a bit while he enjoyed the kiss the two shared. Finally it had ended and if felt as though his lips were numb, they tingled with excitement.

the lad giggled as the other's response afterward, but then frowned as the other suddenly looked concerned. Eros then explained to him that he would have to tell Lucia that Eros had chosen, and it wasn't Lucia. 'I can go with you to tell her if you want.'

"Actually...I would like that." After all, it was not easy for anyone to tell someone that they were not the one for them. Eros had chosen, and it was Sani. Sani was what he wanted. He didn't care if Sani used to be female and had a sex change. He didn't care that drama was probably going to follow him if Sani's brother found out where Sani was. He had plans to protect Sani and would. Sani had caught his heart, and now Eros was wanting Sani's own. Eros had fallen in love after such a torturous year of pain and heartbreak.

Gently catching onto Sani's hand, Eros began to move towards the direction where Lucia was to deliver the news. Pushing out onto the patio, his gaze grew a bit distant. It wasn't easy doing this at all...but Sani was with him. "Lucia..." Eros pushed towards the girl with Sani, Eros beginning to speak gently towards Lucia, an apologetic expression on his face. He wanted her to know before she tried even more. Once he was finished revealing his choice, he lowered his gaze. "I am sorry Lucia...but my heart is with Sani. I wanted to tell you now instead of dragging this on further. I want Sani in my life, standing beside me..."

Sani followed along as Eros held his hand though he didn't know they were going to tell her right at that time. 'Wait,..now? couldn't this have waited until after dinner?' the boy asked but his question would be ignored as he was led to where Lucia was, out on the patio, the woman very pleased with herself, when she saw Eros she smiled, only for it to slowly disappear when she saw Sani right next to him. she listened as the youth explained things to her. 'No..that's not what was supposed to happen,..you're supposed to be furious!' she said pointing to Sani. 'And you..' she looked back to Eros with hurt in her eyes, 'You never meant to give me a chance did you? that's not fair,..just because your mother chose me..isn't it? you never intended on giving me a chance,..you were just stringing me along..weren't you? mmhmm..that's it..it's because Sani was already your girlfriend, you never wanted to give me a chance, your heart is with Sani huh? you didn't want to get the chance to know me, because just as I'm starting to really get to know you..you pull the rub from right under me.' 'Lucia that's not true it's just--' 'Shut up! you're the last person I want to hear right now.' Lucia was upset and hurt,..she was so sure she had this in the bag only to find out that her plan had completely backfired on her.

'So tell me Eros,..why her?' she nearly whispered the last part as her voice cracked a little from fighting back her urge to cry. Sani looked to the man, almost afraid to say anything to Lucia, afraid she'd try to attack her or something.

Eros winced, however, he couldn't wait but tell Lucia. He had to. If he waited any longer, he wouldn't have gained the courage to say it. She was expecting something that he couldn't give her...her words were clear to this. As he was asked why Sani, Eros frowned, gently releasing Sani's hand. "I can't explain it Lucia...When I'm not with her...I feel alone...When I'm around her...I feel complete...I...I did give you a chance. I tried to see what it was that my mother saw in you. I did see it, you are a great girl Lucia. Any man would be lucky to have you...But I'm not that guy. I...I know I was stringing you along. I hated every minute of it as I felt I was just stringing you both along. When you brought to light that I had cheated on Sani, my heart dropped Lucia. I knew right then and there....that the pain I had given myself, and then seeing the hurt in Sani's eyes when I told her...I realized...It wasn't just pain..it was love. I'm in love with Sani. I didn't think it was right to wait. I hate that I'm telling you this now, but it has to be said. I don't want to break your heart further by not saying anything anytime soon. Lucia, I'm a mess anyways..You would have things so much worse off if you were with me. You need someone who can take better care of you than I can." Eros whispered, studying the girl's expression, his gaze serious, but understanding.

'So that's what it is,..you felt alone and incomplete when you were with me..oh but not Sani..oh no,.she's got it all,.she's perfect..little Miss homemaker, Miss I-Can-Do-No-Wrong..No way..She cooks, she cleans, she's cool about her boyfriend cheating on her,..yeah i guess she really would let you get away with murder. sooner or later your going to find out whatever it is she's hiding..no one's that fucking perfect! no wonder you think she's so great for you...she probably even told you she loved you, hah..but think about this a while, how is it she can say it and i can't? she was here first, she's always had a leg up on me..so she's had plenty of face time with you,..so of course she would outshine whatever you saw from me. I could have made you happy Eros..' Lucia turned to go back inside, 'I'll pack my things and leave tonight.' she said as she went into the house. Sani stood there the entire time listening to Lucia as she went on and on, trying to put the boy down, Sani didn't saw anything, he figured if he did, it would only make matters worse and lucia would never get out what she wanted to say, He tried not to take anything she said to heart, but it still hurt to hear things like that about him being said.

Eros took a step back as Lucia spoke about how Sani would even let him get away with murder. That was a low blow as it hurt Eros quite a bit at that moment. He had told these two such a terrible past, so for her to say such a thing, it caused him to tremble. "I..I never said that she was perfect..." Eros whispered, as if trying to continue with the conversation at hand, but was having a hard time doing so. "It's...not like that..." Lucia was putting words in his mouth. He did try to love Lucia, but he found himself just feeling like he did with the other models that he got a bit closer to. It still wasn't like Sani. There was something about Sani, despite how long they had already been together. It wasn't like they knew eachother an entire week even before she showed up in their lives...In all honesty, Lucia didn't have much of a leg to stand on with that part of the argument.

None the less, those words still came to him, or rather that one word did....Murder. Hues suddenly narrowed and Eros pushed himself towards Lucia who entered back into the house. He shot out his hand and caught the woman by her wrist and forced her to stare into his eyes. "Look...I just poured out my heart to you. I've told you my secrets...something I never wanted to tell any of you! I did give you a chance Lucia! I tried to be as fair as I could! It has nothing to do with Sani being here before you. It was only a day if not a day and a half before you soon were brought into my life! I can't help what I feel Lucia...and you don't have any right taking it out on her!" Eros trembled. "The way you keep trying to make it so that she hates me....the way you seem to try to piece things together to have us fall apart...you get upset when Sani does the complete opposite of what you were expecting right? Lucia...why do you really want me in your life?" Eros trembled as he held onto her wrist, staring into her eyes as if searching for an answer.

The woman was grabbed by her wrist as Eros had pushed past Sani and went after her. 'Let me GO!' she yelled. only to hear what the other had to say. and then the question posed, one she hadn't planned on answering. Why she wanted Eros in her life. the woman didn't have an answer for him,..or rather not one she was willing to say out loud. '...Who wouldn't want you in their life? You're hansome, successful, caring, loving, really a rare find and so much more.' she managed to get out while grasping for something that sounded believeable,..she couldn't have him know the real reason. 'Daddy introduced me to your mother who in turn knew we could work. It's not like we don't get along, we have a good time together don't we? You're a very sweet man, i'd be stupid not to want you in my life..and i do,..but that's just not gonna happen now is it? Because I can't say that I love you? I'm not going to lie to you,..I don't love you,..but i could one day,..but you're not even going to give me that chance..'

Eros frowned and gently released the other. "And maybe one day....if Sani and I aren't meant to be...I'll realize that. It's not because she said she loved me...But when she said it, I felt so....alive. To deny myself something that I've been missing for a year...I just can't do that Lucia...Something about her, it's what I want...it's what my heart wants. I'm not a rare find Lucia...I'm such a mess, and you know it. I'm not perfect. I'm not even successful, not in my mother's eyes. Doing businesses...I can't do that. I can't do what my mother and your father want me to do. I want to do photography and art...I'm successful enough, but not in a way that you need. I'm not sweet, I...I murdered someone, the one I loved. Right now...what it sounds like...is that you'd want me in your life because of all those things, as if ignoring the negatives you get with me. You've already said it yourself that you don't love me, but probably could one day. Maybe that day will come...but right now, my heart wants Sani...I want to be with her."

'and that's you're problem,...you're so focused on the negative,.you refuse to see the good in you...i don't ignore you're bad points,..i told you already,..i accept them,..i accept you,..but you don't want to believe there's someone out there that can,..and you know what,..that's fine..you've just lost the opportunity of a lifetime, because when you realize I was the one that could have made you happy, and you'll be sorry.' she said and turned away to go to her room and begin packing. Sani had overheard everything that was going on, but knew it wasn't his place to do or say anything, so he didn't,..he stayed out of sight until it he couldn't hear any more conversation going on between the two of them.

Had Eros made the wrong choice? Eros didn't want to think he did. He watched as the other left him speechless near the entrance, watching as the woman moved towards her room to begin packing. The last part sounded more like a threat than anything. Eros frowned and pressed his back against the wall he was standing nearby, closing his eyes as he tried to make sense of everything. What do I do? I can't refuse Sani...I don't want to. I want Sani....I can't have both....I'm sorry Lucia, you just aren't the one for me. If you are...then you're right...when I find out, I'll be sorry. But for me to just give up Sani fo rsomething that I'm not even sure about...it'd be foolish for me. I want to be with Sani. Why...why does it have to be so damn difficult for everyone to accept! Eros bit his lip as he screamed this within his head. Why was his mother always getting into his business...why did all of this have to happen when he was supposed to be working?

Sani turned the corner after hearing Lucia's door close and saw Eros standing there with his eyes closed, to Sani, he looked so confused and upset. Sani didn't like to see him this way,..but he knew things were going to get better for him and this wouldn't last long,..or maybe he was thinking about what Lucia had said,..that he'd be making a mistake by being with Sani,..the youth thought about this as well,..but he didn't want that to bother him either. The boy stood beside the male and tugged a little the man's shirt to get his attention. he then openend his arms and wrapped himself around the other, in attempt to comfort and let him know that he wasn't making a mistake by being with him after all.

As he tried to comfort the other, it was interrupted by the timer on the over. the food was done. Sani released the other and took to take the food out of the oven. After doing so, he took off the apron, only to find that it hadn't served it's purpose, Sani's shirt had all kinds of food mess on it, he frowned stepping out of the kitchen, he turned to Eros, asking him to set the table and that he would return after putting on a clean shirt.

Feeling a tug to his shirt, Eros opened his eyes, only to take in a soft breath as he saw Sani there, the youth moving his arms about him. Eros paused at this, only to blush a little and moved his arms about Sani, holding the other for a little bit. Though when the oven timer went off, Eros faintly smirked, thinking of how there was always something interrupting him and Sani's time. Allowing the other to go tend to it, Eros gently followed after, watching Sani take to the meal from the oven. Seeing the other removing the apron, Eros pulled back to move towards the table. Sani's voice caught up to him, Eros turning to meet the youth's gaze. "Sure I'll do it." Eros whispered and watched as Sani moved off to possibly get a cleaner shirt. With that going on, Eros decided to go ahead and set the plates, setting one for Lucia just in case, his gaze growing distant as he focused on the plate. He didn't like hurting Lucia...but he felt he would only hurt her worse if he had not said anything at all.

Sani went into his room, closing the door behind him. He took off the shirt he had on and tossed it to a small pile on the floor in a corner and went over to his closet to find something else to wear, he stood there trying to decide,..as he did, Lucia happened out of her room and went over to Sani's, knocking twice, but not waiting for an answer and stepped in, 'Sani, here's the skirt i borrowed from--' the woman paused as she saw Sani in a way she shouldn't have. the boy, shirtless, and a stuffed bra!

Lucia breathed out a laugh as the boy stood there frozen, not sure how to react. 'i knew there was something odd about you,..and now i know.' She threw the skirt down she'd had in her hand and stormed off to find Eros. Quickly finding him in the dining area setting the table. 'It's not wonder I couldnt' come even close to Sani,..everything makes since now, I get it. Now I know why you never had interest in me, it's because you're gay!' she practically yelled at him. 'And to think that I thought i had actually done something wrong, that i could have tried harder, and no wonder all of your mothers attempts to get you a girl never worked,..you never had any interest in them at all..and not because they were dull and boring,..because they were women...real women. Oh you've got some twisted things about you, but this tops them all I swear! This whole time,..you've been dating a cross-dresser, though I must admit he's a damn good one that he even fooled me!' she yelled, furious at the circumstances. 'BRAVO SANI! YOU TRULY ARE THE MASTER OF DECEPTION HERE!' she yelled for Sani to hear, who had raced to grab a shirt and get into the dining room. 'Please, Lucia, I can explain.' 'you don't need to explain anything, cause i don't want to know what you've got behind curtain number 2. i'm done here,..i'm so done here nether of you have any idea.' the girl refused to listen to anything either of them had to say, it was really the shock of it all that really got to her, though she kind of had the wrong idea of waht was happening at that time, she figured enough was enough and she already knew more than she needed to. she stormed back to her room to finish packing and called a taxi to come get her. She continued to pack while she waited.

When the door to Lucia's room slammed once more sani shruged, 'I guess I can get out of this now.' the boy said, trying to make light of the situation, but failed.

Eros had just finished setting the table, only for Lucia to suddenly enter and started yelling at him. Eyes widened as he almost fell at the comment of him being gay. Was he gay? Not really...in fact he was not even expecting to fall for a "guy." Trying to get in a word in edgewise, eyes widened as Lucia began to speak of his mother. Eros winced as she said that he had some twisted things about him. For one thing, he wasn't gay! That was not the reason at all for his mother's attempts at finding him a bride. "Twisted..." Eros whispered the word, as he always thought of himself as that ever since he had taken to such actions to the girl he once loved.

Hearing her slam the door, Eros grew distant. "Heh...to her I'm twisted and gay...." Eros frowned and shook his head. "I didn't ask for any of this..." Which was true, he didn't. His mother just kind of threw Lucia onto his lap. Though he turned to Sani and found a faint smile taking him. "Might as well...." Did she even care about me? She was so quick to state about me having murdered someone earlier...and now she has no problem seeming to reveal that I am indeed twisted...I really don't know what to think. I know this has to be her anger being let out...But at the same time, does she have to keep opening my wounds like that?

sani heard Eros repeat what Lucia had said to him. 'That's not true,..we both know that,..please dont' let it get to you okay? She'll...be gone soon and with any luck, we won't have to worry about her anymore.' he said attempting to find a silver lining or something. The boy went back to his room to change into more comfortable clothing. Finding a pair of loose fitting jeans and navy t-shirt. He returned looking like a boy again after quickly washing his face of make-up. Lucia packed up her belongings and carried them out the front door to wait for her cab, before the door closed however, she said one last thing towards Eros, 'Don't think your mother won't hear of this.' and left.

Eros smiled a little towards Sani, knowing that the youth was just trying to be helpful. He would try his best not to let this bother him and watched as Sani went off to get changed. Soon enough, Sani returned looking like a boy which Eros couldn't help but smirk at a bit. However, it easily faded as Lucia pushed out into the area, a cab apparently having been called. Eros winced as she spoke to him, his hues narrowing a bit, only to shift his gaze away. Great..that was all he needed. "Fine..." He finally whispered to himself. "I don't care anymore if she finds out. So what if I'm in love with a guy...Maybe she'll finally leave me the fuck alone..." Eros whisperd at this, a sigh leaving him. Lucia's reaction was not what he was expecting...if anything, it was making her downright now like Lucia anymore. She was starting to sound like the one that had first came to begin with.

The entire day had been nothing but an emotional rollercoaster for all of them. at least now there was a calm taking place, though the storm was on it's way. sani didn't want to think about what had just happened and didn't want Eros to dwell on it either. 'Come on.' he said, 'sit down and we'll eat.' He said taking hold of the male's hand, kissing it briefly before taking Lucia's plate off the table as he moved into the kitchen to get the food he made and brought it out.

The boy didn't want to pretend like nothing happened, ..but it had also seemed like an awful ordeal that he didn't want to bring it up either, and only wondered how the other was feeling, wanting to come up with a way to make him feel better.