Torn Canvas

Nathan found himself frowning to hear that he was indeed within the hospital. As the tears came to his eyes, the male apologizing to the ones there, Eros bit his lip. James had spoken up first, reminding Nathan that those that cared for Nathan were there to ensure he got better. With that said, the tears that had come to his eyes began to fall. "Th...thank you....All of you...I...I'm so sorry. I didn't expect...this to happen...Then again...who would?" A faint laugh left Nathan though it was cracked because of the tears. Eros softened his gaze. "I'm just glad you're alive. You're like...a pain in the ass brother to me...Someone who's been a major part of my family compared to anyone else in my bilogical family." "Eros...." Nathan calmed himself a bit and found himself smiling a bit. "You're right...I'm alive..." Nathan then realized something. "Oh God...James...I'm so sorry...I...I must have made you really worry...You even....stayed by my side....didn't you?" Nathan breathed out, finding a hand reaching out towards the other. "If...if you're blaming yourself...for this...stop it...." Nathan shook his head. "I...was...the idiot that crossed that road without...nng..paying attention...I should..have just...stayed with you like my heart wanted...Instead of what my head kept saying." Nathan blushed a little. He was admitting that he wanted to stay with James, but James just confused the hell out of him with his choice of words at times and thus had reacted the way he did. Love sure was confusing at times. Was....that what this was? Love? Nathan wasn't sure yet...but he knew one thing, he was so glad that James was there.

Sani didn't do well seeing the other tearing up. Sani was one of those sympathy cryiers..if someone else teared up,..he started up right along with them,..even if he had no idea why they were crying. But Sani wanted to be stronger than that,..if he could,..just this once. Nathan began to speak once more, thanking them all for being there, and apologizong. Then turning to James to apologize once more, reaching out a hand towards him, james taking it. Though James didn't want to think about why Nathan had gotten out of the car in the first place. He shook his head, 'No, don't worry about that now. It's in thel past,..no need to dwell on it,..just focus on getting better.' he stated. Nathan went on to let the other know that if he was blaming himself, not to. though what Nathan had said towards the end, caused the man to become a bit flush. Nathan's heart wanted to stay? What were the man's feelings towards James? James wouldn't say that he was in love, no, it was much too soon for that,..but he did have feelings...he did care about the man...afterall,..he was there by his side wasn't he?

Even Nathan didn't know if he was in love yet. He just knew that deep down within, he did not want to leave James and yet he had forced himself to. He felt James would be better off without him as a boyfriend for the fact that he knew he was frustrating the other. He didn't want to do that any longer. For him to be hit by a car, well that was almost coincidental. Nathan did not want the other to have to deal with his uncertainties...but not in a way that killed him off. None the less, Nathan was so happy that he was alive, and that James was there. Nathan's hand trembled within James' slightly larger hand, Nathan studying the male. Eros took in a sigh at this. "Come on Sani...let's give them some alone time." Nathan gasped and blushed darkly as he heard Eros say that. "E...Eros? It's okay...I want you both to stay." "We aren't going anywhere....we're just going to get some coffee. We'll be back." Eros smiled and attempted to drag Sani away.

Sani agreed and went with the other out of the room. Once they left, James turned his attention back to Nathan. 'I guess I still have a lot to learn about you.' the man let out with a sigh. 'I didn't mean to upset or make you mad or anything,..there are a few things i still need to work on, and I want to work on us still,..I know i'm not as thoughtful as I should and i don't really think about what i say before i say it,..and I need to work on that too,..but I don't want to push you away and i don't want to see you hurt,..not emotionally,..or like this either..If i hadn't said what I said,..you wouldn't be here,..we'd be at your or my house having that dessert right now,..enjoying one another's company. Seeing you hit by that car,..it scared the hell out of me...I didn't think how easy it would be to lose you..I don't want to lose you...' the man stated the last part a bit quietly, listening to himself as he spoke. what he said was true,..but he didn't think it would come out as easily as it did.

Nathan took in a soft breath as James began to speak, explaining on how he realized that he had a lot he needed to work on. Listening further, tears came to Nathan's eyes again to hear such sweet words. James really had been afraid of losing him? Nathan...had never heard anyone say that to him before. Nathan shook his head gently when James spoke of how if he had not said such things that this wouldn't have happened. No, he didn't want James to blame himself. "James..." Nathan whispered, gently clinging onto the hand that had caught his earlier. "Everything went blank when that car hit me...I didn't know what was going on at all...But...I could feel you nearby." Nathan trembled as he stared into James' eyes, shifting his other hand to push aside the breathing mask.

He was able to breath a bit better now that he was becoming more alert. "All I kept thinking was that...I had to survive...I wanted to...because I realized then that my biggest mistake was moving out of that vehicle myself. I...I was trying to get away from you...b...because...I...I don't want to be a chore to you. I don't....I don't want to frustrate you. This wasn't your fault James." Nathan shook his head. "It wasn't. I...I have a lot of things I also need to work on...I need...I guess...to not take some of what you say as seriously as I have..." Nathan blushed a little. "I...I don't want to end this...not for a reason like this. There's...there's something about you James...I...I'm just afraid I'm going to screw it all up..." Nathan whispered. "Just...hearing you right now...James....I'm so happy to be alive...and....I'm so relieved you're here, despite how I've spoken to you. But...you have to admit...you are a pervert." Nathan stated the last bit, only to give a soft laugh to show he was simply teasing, even though he kind of still felt that was true, his hand gently squeezing onto James' own. Of course there was nothing wrong with that...Eros was a pervert after all! "James...thank you for being here for me...It...it really means a lot."

James was silent as the other spoke, and became a little concerned when the other pushed the oxygen mask aside,..he started to act on it,..but refrained. He felt the man tremble in his hand, tears forming on his own visiage as he continued to listen. 'Well I couldn't leave you like that. I mean I could have just turned around and went home,..but I didn't like the way that ended,..i followed you in the car, trying to find a good spot to stop you, thinking you would have stopped at the light, and when you didn't,...my heart stopped and everything went slow-mo..I didn't want to lose you and have what I said to you to be the last thing...' he admitted.

Letting the other continue, the boy bolted a little in his chair to hear the other still call him a pervert. Though he was teasing,..he felt that's just how the man was going to see him for a while. the boy rubbed the back of his neck to hear it. 'That's another thing,..I'm gonna prove to you that i'm not,..or...that i'm not as bad as you think I am.' he chuckled

Hearing the chuckled response, Nathan couldn't help but smile a bit. "I don't know...it sounds like a pretty hard task if you ask me." Nathan stated with a sigh, only to smile to show he was still teasing. "However...even if I do see you that way....that doesn't mean I'm still not intrigued. I'm still new at being.....I guess bi-sexual...If anything, who knows what will happen...All I know is that I'd...really like to see where this is going. Even if you're very good at smooth talking your way into my bed...and everything is telling me to avoid the big hungry wolf...I can't help but want to learn more about you. And the fact that you stayed here for me...that already shows me you aren't as bad as I had probably thought of you earlier. James....I...I..." Cheeks burned and Nathan shifted his gaze away a bit, looking around. "K...Kiss me."

James rolled his eyes at the boys response, thinking he wouldn't be able to prove he wasn't pereverted,..but that still didn't mean that he wouldn't try. Besides, the man seemed to change his tune a bit when the other told him he was still intrigued. He could understand that being with him was all new to the other. He smiled to hear that James still wanted to try and be with him. 'I'm glad to hear you say that,..cause I want that too. I don't want to have days like what happened today,..the fight..I'd rather not go through that again.' he spoke honestly, wanting to start fresh in a way,..if it were posssible.

it was then the boy made a request. James wasn't sure about it, given where they were, but that didn't mean that he didn't want to kiss him.
He leaned over, claiming the boy's lips gently. Tears finally falling as he hadn't thought he'd get another chance at this.

Nathan smiled and gave a nod, glad to hear that the other wanted that too...for them to be together still. After making his request, a slight tremble took to Nathan as James moved forward. As his lips were claimed gently, Nathan gently shyed away at first, only to smile and take to the kiss, his own tears falling down his cheeks. A weak hand shifted up and brushed against James' cheek, feeling the man's tears against his fingertips. Pulling back, breaking the gentle kiss a bit, but keeping very close, Nathan found more tears falling. "I...I'm so sorry...For all of this. Just...to be able to feel your lips like this...I'm...so relieved I'm alive. I...I'm still scared for what had happened." Nathan whispered and pressed his lips against the other's own only to break it again. "I...please don't leave..." Nathan whispered before gently pressing his lips against James' own. What did he mean by that? Simple...he was still afraid that he wasn't out of the clear yet...and was afraid that if James left...something might happen. He knew he was probably going to have to stay at the hospital for a night or two...depending on what else needed to be done...After all, this was the first time the young man was conscious after being hit by the car.

James could feel the other's hesitation, although it was him that had asked for the kiss. Still gaining the kiss,..he also gained the touch of the other's hand brushing against his cheek, not meaning his tears to touch down on his hand,..but they did. James didn't care if Nathan knew he was crying,..he was just happy Nathan was awake and alive for that matter. The kiss broke for a minute as the boy apologized once more, only to reclaim his lips. after a moment, they broke again. 'Don't be sorry,..we're both at fault....and don't worry,..i'm not going anywhere,..they'll have to drag me out kicking and screaming.' he stated in a low tone. He'd been completely serious, he wasn't about to leave the other in such a state and 'hope' he was okay...no.
No matter what happened, he was going to be there for the other. He was still afraid the man wasn't in the clear either, he knew the boy would need to stay in for a couple of days and he had every intention in being there with the other, staying with him, helping him, until he was well.

While that was going on, Eros and Sani had found the cafeteria, Sani, not really being a fan of coffee took a cup of tea. 'Eros, try not to worry so much about Nathan,..I think he's going to be alright. I know he means a lot to you,..but he has other's that care about him too,..don't think that you're the only one that cares, or that you have to bear the whole load. I care about him too,..and that James guy does too,..if he didn't he wouldn't have called us to be here right?' Sani wanted to do what he could to ease the boy's mind, he knew he wouldn't be able to do it completely, but he wanted to help in some way.

Nathan closed his eyes tightly to hear such things and resumed the kiss, his hands weakly moving about the other as best as he could in the position he was. After all, his chest had to be aching like hell from the cracked ribs. None the less, Nathan was ignoring all that pain as all he wanted at that moment..was to just have James there. Maybe it was a bit selfish to ask the other not to leave, but Nathan really couldn't help it. He was scared...Who wouldn't be after being hit by a car and being in a somewhat critical condition? Nathan needed someone...and his heart wanted that someone to be James.

While the two were kissing, Eros was barely drinking his coffee, though did pause as Sani spoke to him. Once Sani finished, Eros found his worried expression vanishing a little. "I...really am lucky to have you. You keep my nerves calm when I need it the most. You're right...I'm not the one Nathan needs the most....Just as he's not the one I would need the most if I were in his place...You would be." Eros smiled a bit more in a relieved manner.

Sani was glad to see that his words helped the other calm down a bit. He thought about how he would feel to be in a place like this,..who would he want to be by his side. He couldn't think of anyone other than to have Eros by him. Eros was the only one he really had. He had no choice but to abandon his family, he hadn't made any close friends himself since the operation, but that was to protect himself from the ones he hid from. Eros was it. Sani thought about this more, looking to the other, putting his tea down and wrapping his arms about the man, tightly. 'You're it,..you're it for me. I wouldn't want anyone else by my side but you.' He said, his face burying into the man's chest. The emotion had been building up a bit, and the boy really hadn't had the chance to tell the man how he felt completely,..it would come out in spurts like this. He still hadn't fully explained what the man meant to him, as it became something more each day,..but he figured, maybe that was okay.

Nathan could tell the other was struggling a bit to be closer to the other. He broke the kiss once more. 'Don't strain yourself,..you're trying to get better remembe?' he moved the chair closer to the bed. 'I'm not going anywhere,..I promise, just work towards getting better okay?' James took the boy's hand he had in his and kissed it, placing his free hand over it.

Feeling Sani push himself against his chest, Eros softened his gaze and gently pulled his arms about the young male. "Sani...I'll always be by your side." Eros whispered as he gently rocked the other a little as he held onto the boy, resting his cheek against the top of Sani's head. He had been so worried about Nathan, and so had Sani...The two were quite emotional at that moment. It could have happened to any of them. Though the words did cause Eros to realize that Sani was indeed loving him more and more. He knew Sani had a problem with voicing out his love...but he wasn't going to force him. He cared far too much for Sani to want to jeopardize that. Plus...Eros wanted to believe that he could feel it.

Nathan turned fifty shades red as the kiss was broken, James reminding him on how he had to get better. Resting back upon the bed, wincing a little, his eyes did not leave the direction of where James sat. James' hand easily captured his smaller one, Nathan's eyes falling halfliddedly as he felt the kiss to his hand. As his hand was covered with James' other hand, Nathan found himself relax a bit more. "You're so gentle to me...Even...even if we...have had some interesting encounters....You've always been gentle with me ever since I've met you...I may still be hesitant around you...but...I think in time I'll relax more. You really are a sweet guy." Nathan smiled gently and gently squeezed the hand that caught his.

James could feel the gentle squeeze on the hand that he had grasped in his. He listened to the man as he mentioned how the man had been so gentle with him since they had met, how he was finding that he actually was a sweet guy. 'Now you notice,..when you're an inch from death.' he joked. the man kissed the boy on the forehead.

Sani continued to hold onto the other tight as he was slowly realizing himself how much more he needed the boy as the days with the man grew. He didn't want to be with anyone else. No one other than Eros by his side. He wished he could completely tell the other how he felt about him,..but again, he simply wasn't the brave,..one day he would be,..but now,..he still wasn't ready for such a thing, though he was getting to that point, just not yet.

"Honestly...hmhm...I've noticed since I first met you...None the less...I still can't help but be on my guard." Nathan whispered as he closed his eyes. "I'm so tired...Must be the pain medicine and just...the overall exhaustion from all of this..." A faint blush took his cheeks. "James...You'll...be here when I wake up right?" Nathan gasped and shot his gaze away. "No...You shouldn't have to stay here just for my sake. You've got stuff to do right?" Nathan got out, his words coming out a bit more clearly at this point. But it was still clear that Nathan was still so very weak and tired.

Gently holding onto Sani a bit longer, Eros gently took in a gentle breath. "Perhaps we should get back to see how Nathan is doing? If he's resting, we probably should head back home. I'm....I'm glad he's alright though....Or so I think he is. He...he better be alright." Eros whispered, only to gently release Sani. "I really am glad that you're here with me Sani...I didn't know what to think when I heard James say such a thing on the phone..."

James listened to the other when the boy mentioned that he'd noticed the boy was sweet from the begining. 'Well I've done some pretty crappying things too,..I wouldn't blame you for having your guard up.' the man admited. He could see that the other was tired from all that had happened, he needed rest. It was then the boy asked if he would be there when he woke up, taking a moment to retract and speak differently. 'I don't have anything more important that staying here with you.' he smiled shking his head. 'I've never been one to really trust hospitals,..Maybe because i've seen so many malpractice cases come from it,..I wouldn't leave you in a nest of vultures like that.' James did have a protective side, and although he still hadn't known the man long, he still felt a need to want to be there for him, esspecially now.

Sani listened to the man's heartbeat as he held on to him longer, hearing him breath in and mention that they should go check in on Nathan at that time. the boy nodded. 'I'm glad he's okay too,..he's really the first friend I've really made so far...well,..you too,..but you don't really count anymore.' he joked as they headed back to Nathan's temporary room.

Nathan was so relieved to hear such a thing, as well as felt a twinge within his heart as he listened to James explain how there was nothing more important than staying there with him. "D...Don't say creepy things like that..." Nathan gasped at the idea of malpractice, having not really thought of that. With a faint smile, a slight giggle left him before he took to resting his eyes, listening to the last bit of what James had to say before drifting off. When he's around...I feel safe...I....I've never felt like this with anyone before...I still have just only met him...and yet....I feel so safe around him, so protected.

By the time Nathan fell asleep, Eros and Sani had returned, Eros seeming much more calm than he did when leaving. Upon entering, Eros noted that Nathan was sleeping, and yet seemed more at peace. Nathan had forgotten to put on the oxygen mask, but his stats had not dropped....that was definitely a good sign. Eros sighed at this. "He really is a lot of work at times right?" Eros smiled towards James. "Thanks for calling an abulance instead of just leaving the scene...I appreciate it. I give him hell....but he really is important to me....to us." Eros corrected himself as he thought about how Sani was taking this as well.

James frowned, 'It was supposed to come out creepy,..i meant it as in I wouldn't let them do anything to you.' The man sighed,..even when he tried to be sweet, the other always seemed to take it the wrong way. Soon the boy was asleep, Nathan watching over him as he did. It wasn't too long after that that Sani and Eros returned he listened to the words of the other. 'it's nothing,..I wouldn't have left him there like that,..i couldn't,..I'm just sorry that i runined your night out, but honestly,..i dind't know what else to do.' the man shrugged.
'No,..we're glad you did.' Sani chimed in. James smiled at the boy in drag. 'We should probably go,..but we'll check in on him later.'
'No problem,..I plan to be with him...at this point, it looks as though they're gonna keep him overnight,..maybe more. I'll let you know when he has an actual room.' James mentioned.
Sani looked to Eros, then back at James. 'Thanks.'

Nathan had not mean for it to come out that he was being serious, which was why he had giggled before sleeping. But with all the pain meds and everything being given to him, the delay in the giggle probably threw poor James off. He was too tired to correct the other two before falling to sleep. As for Eros, when he heard the man apologize for ruining their night, a sigh left him. "You both didn't ruin anything. If anything, it would have been more ruined if I had found out much later. I appreciate that you called us as immediately as you could. He may be my therapist....but he's also a friend. As much as I hate saying it for other circumstances...I really am grateful for you." After all, this man was going to be the lawyer against Sani...but he was pushing those differences aside for the time being.

As Sani took hold of the reigns, explaining how they were going home, Eros took in a soft breath when James spoke of how he would be staying with Nathan. "Yes...thank you." Eros whispered. "I...I feel more at ease with someone with him actually." Eros didn't trust hospitals either...but for other reasons. None the less, he was glad that someone would stay there for Nathan. "And if you hurt him...I'll..." Eros forced that from himself and shook his head. "No....you won't do that...Just....take good care of him alright? If it wasn't for him...Who knows where I'd be....I probably wouldn't have been around to meet Sani." Eros admitted with a soft expression. "Thank you James." Eros stated again before motioning Sani for them to leave. It was true...despite ignoring Nathan for a good chunk of time, the time he did have sessions with Nathan...before hand...had curbed all his suicidal thoughts.

James was skeptical of Eros words when he started to threaten the man that 'if he did anything to Nathan...' That wasn't the man's intent, he wasn't out to hurt the boy. What was Eros thinking? 'I'll take care of him, I promise.' James was true to his word, he didn't trus hospitals as he had mentioned before, 'it's nothing really,..I wanted to do whatever i could do to be there for him.' Even though Nathan had told him not to, he still felt a bit responsible for what had happened. The boy nodded as Eros thanked him. Sani did the same once more. He hadn't gotten too close with Nathan, but he was still worried about him just the same. 'I'll keep you two updated.'

Eros was just wanting to ensure that James wasn't out to harm or trick Nathan like Lucia had tried to trick him. It was hard for Eros to be trusting to anyone usually to begin with. Eros heard the other promise and gave a nod of his head before the two took to leaving the very room that Nathan was resting within. He was glad that the man would keep them both well informed.

As the two left and was now heading to the car, a sigh came from Eros. "What a hell of a day this has been." Eros whispered as he stared up at the night sky. It was already starting to get a little late. "Aww man...and I was looking forward to doing more things to you...I...never even got the chance to get you a kimono. Well I'll have to save that for another day. I think...the two of us should just get some rest." Eros admitted. After all, having a friend almost die on them was enough to kill any romantic mood that the two had. None the less, Eros did want to do one thing. He still wanted to hold Sani real close that very night. If he had seen Sani hit by a car...he didn't know what he would have done....especially if Sani did not make it. Having already lost his first love....to lose Sani would possibly kill Eros.

Eros wanting to protect Nathan was understanding though James had no intention in harming the boy in any way, he at least hoped that Nathan understood that much. The man watched over the boy as he slept, never leaving his side, or if he did, it was only to stretch his legs for a moment. Soon enough Nathan was assigned a private room within the hospital, James sent out a text to Eros and Sani to let them know, and kept them updated as changes to the injured boy occured. Sani was glad that James was through with Nathan, it made him more at ease and in turn seemed to calm his lover down as well.

When the two had been in the car on their way home, Eros had made the comment of not being able to see the boy in a kimono that night. 'You'll get your chance some day.' the boy teased. Now the two were home. The night's events were tiring for the youth. He was glad to be home. He walked up with the other up the steps to the house, hugging on to the boy's arm. Sani had thought about James' position, not sure what he would have done in his shoes and only made him more thankful that he had Eros by his side. It wasn't long that the two decided to call it a night. Sani, now out of drag and make up, in a pair of comfy pajama bottoms, waiting for his lover to join him in bed for the night.

A few days had gone by, Eros and Sani coming in every now and then to see how Nathan was doing. Nathan was doing much better and had been walking up and down the halls of the hospital to show that he was ready. That day....he was finally getting released. Eros and Sani were not there as they were in the middle of figuring out more on what to do with Reece's attempt to sue Sani. Nathan, on the other hand, had been reviewing everything that had been given to him by James, trying to figure out a good case. All he knew was that in order for his case against Reece to work...Reece was going to have to win against Sani...a counter sue.

Nathan had all of those files with him as he made his way to James' car. He was still very sore and had to move carefully, but he was able to do it none the less. "Thank you, for taking me home." Nathan admitted with a faint blush. "Actually....thank you for everything James." Nathan gave a much more warmer smile towards the other. "You've...been here every day that I was here...making sure I was alright. Thank you."

Finally Nathan was released. James was relieved that he was doing well enough to be sent home, but that didn't mean that he was completely well. Though he looked a lot better than he had the day he'd been admitted, James still had every intention in watching out for the other, making sure he was alright. As they slowly but surely made it to the car for James to take the man home, he mentioned his thanks to the man for staying with him. 'Well I wanted to make sure that you were alright is all,..I was worried,..and i didn't really see it fair that you were the one to get hurt,..I'd rather it had been me.' he said aloud, looking down at the ground as he spoke. James still felt responsible for the boy's condition. No matter what Nathan said to him, James was still going to think to himself how it was still his fault. Staying with the boy in the hospital was the least he could have done for him and felt that he owed the boy much much more than he had done at this point.

James helped the other into the car, taking him home, driving carefully as to not further discomfort the man with speed bumps and pot holes. Soon enough, they reached Nathan's home. James helped him to his place. 'If you need anything,.let me know okay?' James didn't really feel right leaving the boy alone so soon from being released, but he also felt that well, maybe Nathan was also tired of looking at him day in and day out. That wasn't to say that he still wouldn't check on the other form time to time, and it wasn't like the boy didn't have his number if he needed anything. He would be fine,...right?

Nathan frowned as he saw James lower his head earlier. On the way to his home, he couldn't help but think about how James had reacted earlier. He's still blaming himself. He shouldn't though. It's not like he asked that car to hit me. We got into an argument...the car was just coincidental. None the less, he is still beating himself up for this. Though if it had been the other way around, I probably would be blaming myself....

Upon reaching his place, Nathan watched as the door was opened, James helping him inside of his home. Listening to the other, Nathan realized that James was thinking of leaving. Without realizing his actions, a hand gently pushed out and caught onto James' shirt. Realizing his actions, Nathan shifted his gaze away with a dark blush, his hand still clutching. "You're...still blaming yoursel for all of this. Don't....It was all a coincidence. It was my fault for not paying attention to my surroundings. Let's...let's just put that behind us. I'm alive so it doesn't matter anymore...You...you don't have to leave."